Monday, January 17, 2005

Desirable Residence?

When you tidy up you discover a lot of mess. When you have not tidied up for a while…. you might discover one hell of a mess! Spend all night trying to clear my cottage for a 0800 hhrs appointment with the council contractors. Well, by 0800 the windows where cleared and there was space for them to work. The cottage now has double glazed windows. But living in a bridge of sighs bed-sit is driving me nuts! Onwards and upwards to re-housing I hope.

Anyway, what should I discover in old paperwork but an accommodation advert I had spotted up in the University last summer and noted down. Here it is, with original punctuation:-



********* ALIVE

Two Laid-Back Tokin Housemates Needed To Move In With Well-Adjusted and Studious Third Years next year

Beautiful house equipped with a private cinema, Olympic-size swimming pool, Gymnasium, herb garden, Turkish Bath, Sauna and live-in Swedish masseur with loose morals, surrounded by fourteen acres of barley fields, a helicopter pad, marble en suite bathrooms and a carrot patch, all for just £53 a week! Interested?

Call (two mobile phone numbers given)


Well, being in social housing, I was not tempted. The thought of compulsory “Tokin” did not appeal, smoking is bad for your health! Don’t do it Kids! And problem with the live-in Swedish masseur of loose morals is that his husband is a tall stocky jealous bastard. :)

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