Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Re: Re: Love and Chips! xx

hellooo again

many thanks for your message

> > well, confessing to an away win would have disturbed an existing relationship

likesay, surely it is wrong to disturb an existing relationship. Ergo, confessing to an away win would have been a sin.

> Instead of confessing... he kept quiet and stole years from me which didnt belong to him.

to be honest, I do find this an odd way of looking at it. How can you say that someone else’s time did not belong to him? But likesay, there is a certain logic to it, viz, a possessive relationship is possessive, so if you think that you own another persons body and soul then it follows that you own his or her time. So yes, the reasoning is clear enough, just the first principals are bizarre. I won’t say that I believe possessive relationships to be ok, but what other people do with their body and soul is likesay, not my concern.

Who owns my body? Who determines how much of it I can share?

Again. Don't get me wrong. Perhaps some mono relationships are loving relationships. Though I suspect that this is despite their being exclusive and possessive rather than because.

So likesay, I don't believe that monogamy is about love, it is about ownership possession and control.

> When i say, "at least you are honest," then the woman knows what they are getting into .

Likesay, I am still not happy with the by the "at least" bit.

Who owns my body? I love sleeping with women and love the women I sleep with. If you believe that there is something wrong with this then why not say so?

> They can choose to go for it, or not.

as if loving open non-possessive polyamourous relationships are not fabulous, and as if

> My Ex led a double life,

Most people do. We don't live in a monogamous society (thank JAH!) just one riddled and crippled by monogamous assumptions.

> complete with women.. and even a kid..I will never forgive him.

Perhaps we all have forgiveness problems...... I am not asking you to forgive, none of my business. Nor would I deny that you are hurt, I believe you are.

> I have no idea why he did it , nor does he, (so he says,) I was "giving" in every way possible.

Ahem. A woman who tried to guilt trip me into a mono relationship, when we had met in a bar and the first thing I had said to her was that I was ravingly heterosexual, ravingly polyamourous and had a paramour in London. Well, she reckoned that by trying to get me to dump my London paramour and make it illegal for me to love any other woman that that was generous on her part.....

> I can't detatch feelings from sex,

I' not sure I could. My bottom line is at least a pretension of affection. Though likesay prefer loving long term committed open polyamourous relationships. I can dream can't I? And where there is no vision the people perish (Proverbs 29:18)

> that's why i can never do casual or one night stands.

Another non-sequiter surely?

> Im a prude... so shoot me

No worries. Again, nothing wrong with being anti sex if your open about it. Or at least there is something refreshing! :)

> He was weak, in my eyes,

he did what most people would have done.

got to go and heckle the Vice Chancellor so Hasta!

Love and liberation

Bluebell xxxx

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