Sunday, May 06, 2007

angry, depressed, tired and spiritually cold (advices and queries 10)

"Come regularly to meeting for worship even when you are angry, depressed, tired or spiritually cold." (Advices and Queries 10 QFP 1:02)

In my current condition I feel I am seeing things not as they are but as I am. I am angry, depressed, tired and frankly messed up. I pray that my presence at Yearly Meeting is a help rather than hindrance to the meeting as a whole. Bear with my self therapy dear Friends. Coming to this Yearly Meeting might be a diversion from my journey towards wholeness, but perhaps wrong turnings and dead ends are part of the journey too....

Have been sitting mostly in the East Gallery, by tradition a gathering place of Young Friends. Well 39 is still pretty young for Britain Yearly Meeting....

The seats in the galleries are probably the hardest in western Europe. OOoo my bum!

In the session on Equality and Inclusion a Friend spoke movingly about her anger at exclusion of women from science but that anger is not love. At times I have a song "Angry Love" ringing in my head, forget who it was by or even the title.

"You sing with a hunger, you can call it an anger, you sing with an angry love"

I woke up last nite and couldn't get back to sleep. I was already short of sleep. So by the end of first plenary session this morning I just needed to crash. I did so in the worship room. Freaky.... The thought occurred to score some valerian. England takes drugs in psychic defence... definitely going to cut out caffeine except when i really really really need it...

Managed to score a bar of fairly traded chocolate on sale in reception here at Friends House. Yumm! That's got me Convinced (Laughs out Loud)

Let the light shine!

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