Oh Look! I’m on telly!

Don’t watch television, get the television to watch you!






Glorious Bluebellvision!

Cheers Kay!

Skin ’eds Rool! (non-violently)

Yesterday bought hair clippers for 6 UKP, much too cheap. Most of my hair is now on my floor. Likesay, I find that the shorter my hair is, the better it looks. And I can sometimes get a barber (usually poor Muslim) to run the bare clippers (number 0) over my head for 3 UKP, too cheap. So payback period for my clippers is nice and short. Ooo and I needed a haircut.




I remember once on a main road in Brutal Bootle some skallies stopped at the crossroads and shouted out “Hey Harry! Don’t forget the paint” finger pointing to forehead… LMAO!




Cheers Harry!

HARE KRISHNA HARE KRISHNA KRISHNA KRISHNA HARE HARE
HARE RAMA HARE RAMA RAMA RAMA HARE HARE

Pictures of Pussy on the Internet

Here are the pictures of Misty, the cat referred to in previous posts.











Cheers Kay!

Slightly faster hitch hiking....

After a longish hitch to Bracknell, I wondered if I would ever get back to Leeds. So on Wednesday. Stuck my thumb out at 1130 hhrs, in Bracknell. And I was back in Leeds in Holbeck before 1556 hhrs. Quicker than the coach, quicker than the train I think….

Done in two hitches, the first a trade plater heading to Barnsley dropped me off at Woodhall Services. He said he was doing research into the case of Jeremy Bamber, and discussed said case.

E-Bay bargains!

Get a load of this one

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7524912666

"one fat old man very rarely used not yet worn in not bad at fitting decking not a very good taxi driver either size 9 shoe size 57 waiste small man hood (we have evidence) sorry brain not functioning correctly very tight with money happy bidding
(may swap for a younger model)
buyer must collect as we do not have a wagon to transport this huge thing complete with sky tv and sofa
absolute bargain

"this is only a joke we are not actually selling sky and sofa"

hurry folk! you only have 4 days.... don't tell me Gael, you would rather stick to Cats ;)

Vogon Central on the M40?

Greetings from Bracknell! I have been to Stonhenge! I have been to Europe! I have been to the Moon! and now! Bracknell! Still. must confess that I got the bus and train from Reading.

My early start from Leeds did not quite happen. So at midday tuck out my thumb at Junction 2 of the M621. Not bad, only a 90 minute wait and a nice lift to Tibshelf services. two further lifts to Leicester Forest East via Trowel. Then the offer of a lift to the M40 from a Polish waggon driver. Well, not sure how I was ever going to get round the M25, seemed like a good idea at the time. Got there 1830 hhrs, was there all night, 13 hours in total. And probably subject to more hostility than ever.

Now, gentle reader. I am under the misconcieved Idea that most hitch hikers are harmless. Or at least I am. I do not hassle drivers for lifts. I wait patiently. I hope. I smile. I wave. I spread good vibrations, or try too. Difficult after a 13 hour wait. Oh well, hitch hiking Karma, nothing like it, it confirms your faith in human kind, or wrecks it.

So yes, the negative gestures did get to me a bit. Perhaps Cherwell Valley Services on the M40 is Vogon Central. The attitude of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz "All planet leave is cancelled. I've just had an unhappy love affair, and I don't see why anyone else should enjoy themselves."

Happy hippy summer solstice one and all. I am enjoying the most wonderful hospitality of a wonderful friend. As one of her fridge magnets has it

Life should be filled with love, laughter, friends and a cat.

The cat (Misty, a big beautiful tortoiseshell) is a psycho though LMAO!

Merrick, ever had any long waits?

Happy Hitching one and all!

No comment.......

Wow! No one has posted a comment on any of my postings! The current page is completely comment free. My Blog must be boring LOL!

Nikki sent me a postcard from Bath, it arrived this morning. Lovely picture of a wall with a painted sign saying

ASYLUM

FOR

TEACHING YOUNG FEMALES

HOUSEHOLD WORK

Perhaps the idea will catch on in other cities….

An otherwise dull day

I was walking down Woodhouse Lane when I was handed a flier, nicely laser printed A5 black and white. Makes a change from the club fliers, glossy rubbish, I am not interested. Night clubs are a boring rip off.

Anyway, said leaflet is signed Henry Percy. No contact details. Hi Henry if you are reading this, feel free to get in touch. Oh, and in black and white there is a heraldic achievement in part on the front.

Said leaflet starts with

“Did you know that I invented the electronic computer in 1942? I was born in 1940 the second son of the 10th Duke of Northumberland with a uniquely prodigious intellectual ability which my particular circumstances enabled me to be rapidly developed”

Must confess that it wasn’t till I re-read said sentence that I thought hang on, that means he invented the computer at the age off two.

Our Henry continues

“The basic secrecy has continued since the war for similar reasons – to conceal the existence of the copyright and thus enable those people to manipulate that enormous advantage to their greater benefit.”

Clever of the buggers to make Henry look like a conspiracy theorist. Good luck in retrieving your intellectual property Henry, might be worth a few bob now…..

Weird Teeth

Observant readers of this blog may have noticed that I have not been at my best over the last few months. I have been dying of dental pain. Was finally diagnosed as an abscess a few weeks ago, long story, and I did a course of antibiotics. Well, the root canal filled fractured tooth believed to be the cause of said abscess which likesay has had my eyes popping out my head has just been amputated, like 4 hours ago, and the anaesthetic is just wearing off.... agh! Still, hopefully in a few days I will have my life back.

Anyway, it would seem that say 90% of root canal fillings work, problem was this one was fractured for a while, so an infection happened, but likesay the filling didn’t quite work as there is a peculiar architecture to at least this particular tooth, the root canal deltas at the other end. The dental surgeon tells me that architecture does vary, some people do have peculiar teeth….

Funny old world

A few weeks ago created a forum at love@lycos entitled “Eccentrics” description being:-

“Do you try to complete the circle but through stroke of genius manage to slightly miss it? Or do you just not bother going round in circles? Nothing like eccentricity, no defining characteristics (by definition)”

To date it has one member.

Medieval Curry

It is a fascinating fact that the earliest English recipe book was “The Forme of Cury” by King Richard the second’s head chef. No doubt it contained recipes for red hot vindaloos and dhals fit for a king. I read it in a book (“The Chronicles of The Wars of the Roses” general editor Elizabeth Hallam published by Weidenfeld and Nicholson in London 1988 page 153) so it must be true.

Not a film review

I could not believe it! Passed a couple of friends in the street off to see star wars 3!

It cannot be controverted that Star Wars the trilogy was a classic.

Star Wars 1 was a turkey. Virtually no plot, what plot there was had more holes than the ozone layer and special effects for the sake of special effects.

So anything post Star Wars 1 by George Lucas I will give it a miss thank you.

Kiss Kiss!

Spotted a greetings card which made my day. “Sorry darling”, an older lady tells a younger one, “You have no chance of meeting Prince Charming as he has moved in with Mr Right”

And get this! they are in a closed polyamourous quad with George Michael and his husband LMAO!

Now let us be happy for the happy couples.

Favourite Positions?

An STV (sexually transmitted voting, (or alternatively single transferable vote)) anoraks dream!



So what is your favourite position? vote here and the result will be counted by stv. And if there are some variants I have missed out, do let me know and I might add them.

Likesay, STV is dead easy to understand, position you would like to be most of the time gets your first preference, and then on to your second preference and so on.

Nice to see that currently woman on top positions are out on top!

Vote for Bluebell! Bluebell Eikonoklastes for Prime Minister!

Hello. Welcome to my blog. May I count on your first preference, in return of course for a bit of patronage when I am elected Prime Minister LMAO!

Please cast your first preference for Bluebell followed by a second preference for Joe Rukin (he is a splendid chap indeed). The electoral law for this poll is Elizabethan, the first Elizabeth that is apart from the fact that well you can have as many postal votes as you wish LMAO!

The electoral system is otherwise fair that of STV, sexually transmitted voting (infections). LMAO!

Vote for Bluebell X Here

England Arise! Smash the evil Nazi menace!

Popped into my local for a Saint George’s Day pint or two. Currently feeling outraged that the so called British Nazi Party is contesting Leeds Central in the general election. Am determined therefore to vote for a non fascist party. Might have to vomit to do so…. Alas there is no green candidate…

Likesay, in the old bar is an interesting Juke box, spent a small fortune playing eagle by Abba of course, and Emmerson Lake and Plamer’s version of Blake’s Jerusalem, the Glastonbury Hymn.

But get this, also that Amerikan patriot Paul Robeson singing England’s national anthem.

Likesay, was it David Mellor (wierdo!) who asked on state controlled radio “would you want a revolutionary to write your national anthem?” Except in England we went one better and had two!

Likesay, pitty that we didn’t have England Arise by Edward Carpenter, English Socialist and gay liberationist… on said juke box, perhaps it can be arranged….

England arise! And smash the fash! Just like my granddad did!

Another False Preacher, Beware!

By the wonders of technology, I learned of the election of Cardinal Ratzinger to the Papal throne over the internet. Must confess, needed a stiff drink and some superficial company. Only got the former, a can of tenants super.

OK, I am an ultra liberal pagan Anabaptist, so what does it matter? From what I read, Ratzinger is the antithesis of a forward thinking Pope.

Likesay, what does it matter! But any so called church that condemns family planning is apostate!

And Likesay. I have had liberal catholic friends over the years. Tonight I am rather glad that I am neither a Roman Catholic or especially a Liberal Roman Catholic. Still, at 78 Ratzinger might just be a stop gap Pope.

Blessed Be!

Delightfully Wicked Congratulations! You scored 53!

You are wicked, but you're not quite evil. You enjoy the finer aspects of being wicked, such as letting jerks get what they deserve; but you stop short of genuine mayhem. You are generally well meaning, but not a witch to cross- You probably identify with the much maligned Elphaba of Gregory Maquire's book or the musical.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 1% on Wickedness

Link: The What kind of Witch are you? Test written by Giluinmor on Ok Cupid

Bloody Students!

The Typical Student You are 74% a British student

Well you've stored pretty highly so you are probably living the student lifestyle as you take this test. You may be a student-like person but you're not a complete slob, you occasionally enjoy the finer things in life! Go and make yourself some baked beans with tomato sauce on toast to congratulate yourself!

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on studentness

Link: The British Student Test written by dcx84 on Ok Cupid

Northern Soul!

Northern Munkeh Congratulations! You are 69% Northern!

You're certainly a bit of a character! You are of an advanced evolutionary state and you have every right to be smug! It's clear you have a top sense of humour, the only thing you probably don't have is the swagger but your Northern and you can get away with anything mate.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on northernscores

Link: The How NORTHERN Are You Test written by tricksterisweak on Ok Cupid

Est enim nulla pars mei quæ est nulla pars Deorum!

Oh it is nice to be hung over again! Yesterday was invited to what was possibly the first celebration of the Gnostic Mass in Latin. How’s that for a historical first! Likesay I speak Latin like a native. A native Brit, that is, who has had about 2 Latin lessons in this lifetime to be precise. I would be fascinated if Frater TS could provide a few further Latin phrases such as “Oooo my head”, “more special brew please” and so on.

Ok, after yesterday’s said celebration running on OTO time (Pagan Mean Time (PMT!) plus Y where Y is a variable amount of extra time, PMT being local standard time, in our case GMT, plus X where X is a variable) we adjourned to feast and cocktail party. The coctails had names like “Baphomet” and “Blue-lidded daughter of sunset”

DON’T PANIC!

Trillian DON'T PANIC

You are cautious as often as you are bold. An enviable balance. Your world might explode every now and again, but you were pretty much done with it anyway.

This test tracked 1 variable How the score compared to the other people's: Higher than 66% on dentity

Link: donquixotic on The Hitchhiker's Guide Personality Test written by Ok Cupid

Hitch-Hiking Karma

I was listening to “Excess Baggage” on State Controlled Radio this morning. Only caught the end of a discussion about hitch-hiking. And some things sort of resonated.

One chap said that up to 2 out of 5 of his lifts had been ex soldiers, his theory of why being that ex soldiers often feel despised by mainstream society and hence feel affinity with hitch hikers. Perhaps I prefer the alternative theory that soldiers develop camaraderie and hence why not give a lift to a random stranger. Which sort of ties into my theory that hitch hiking today would probably be impossible without there being lots of ex hitch hikers about who therefore pick up hitch hikers on principal. I have had lifts from at least 2 members of Lilibet Windsor’s Armed Forces and lots from ex members. Cheers guys! More than happy to reciprocate when I get wheels. Goes without saying.

Back to ex hitch hikers. One of the chaps said that he acquired a car and a navigation system intending to pick up hitch hikers and take them to their exact destination. Alas, would you believe it, he didn’t find any, not even at the top notch hitch hiking spots where in the old days there would have usually have been a queue for a lift. I was hitch hiking back to Leeds from Groningen in the Netherlands late one night and got a lift up the M1 from a Post doctoral research wallah heading to Sheffield. He told me that he had been mad enough to hitch hike in Amerika and that now he always picked up hitch hikers but I was the first he had seen for 4 years. Other lifts have said the same.

Another source of lifts to the guests was born again Christians and Mormops. I once got a lift from a Mormop bishop. It was interesting to chat about our respective Churches and so on. Likesay, happy to chat to the Mormops about their theology in the alehouse or out on the road, but please not on Woodhouse Lane of an evening…..

As one lift said “Hitch-hiking Karma, nothing like it, it either confirms your faith in humanity or wrecks it completely”. So far, touch wood (or at least the melamine and chipboard of this computer room) it has done more of the former than latter. Not knowing who you are going to meet and when you are going to arrive and by what route is part of the Magick. Getting half way across Europe without a coach ticket is another (admittedly to Groningen and back I “cheated” and paid the ferry fare).

And that seminal classic, “The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy”. It is so much more when you have hitch hiked.

I believe a friend of Merrick is reported as saying that the three topics of conversation that can keep people chatting all night are hitch-hiking, dodgy landlords and acid trips. That thesis is yet to be disproved…….. I for one could continue this blog all evening but it is time I logged off.

Happy Hitching!

The last unpleasantness (not counting the second and fourth Gulf Wars)

General Well done! You scored 76%

Sir, Yes Sir. You know your stuff and should get a medal. Its not often that people take the time to learn about what thier fathers and grandfathers went through. You did. I would'nt mind having a conversation with you about the war.

This test tracked 1 variable How the score compared to the other people's: Higher than 58% on warpoints

Link: The WW 2 Test written by Tentoes on Ok Cupid

Looks like I won’t make Praetor

Aedile Your civic knowledge: 71%

You've got most of the high points down, but you're lacking the qualifications for praetor. Do you want to be approving construction plans your whole life? Of course you don't. Do some reading and you'll be passing judgements in no time.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on civic knowledge

Link: The Ancient Roman Civics Test written by frozen0phoenix on Ok Cupid

Tweedledum and Tweedledee

I was listening to The Westminster Hour and there heard I think a Lib-Dem lord complain about the media being very Tweedledum and Tweedledee in its political reporting. Fair point. His solution though? More reporting of the Lib-Dems, aka Tweedledoo. To be honest, I don’t see how this makes a blind bit of difference. The Lib-Dems are another bunch of men in grey suits who share the basic assumptions of the other capitalist parties and hence their policies. And as a party they are notoriously unprincipled to cite Newbury as just one example. Rumour has it that someone once said that “The Tories are bastards! but at least they are honest bastards!”.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate that there is a tribal dimension to politics. I have personal friends of all sorts of political persuasions (apart from the evil Nazi menace). And I am more than a little disillusioned with The People’s Party. That said, it is still needed and will do as a political home for now.

Don’t forget to VOTE GREEN on Thursday 5th of May

Flaming flowers that brightly blaze!

P... Phosphorous You scored 44 Mass, 43 Electronegativity, 51 Metal, and 10 Radioactivity!

You're high energy... really high. Unfortunately, you don't always put your energy to calm constructive use and sometimes let it all out in intense bursts. If your energy can be harnessed however, you will produce truly great things. I suggest you take up a job that runs you ragged... like opening and closing a Sodium-Potassium pump. Socially you ought to hang with a crowd that is even more social than you. If you don't, well... all those people who spontaneously combusted throughout history... you guessed it, phosphorous people who didn't have enough to occupy themselves. When picking friends make sure most of them rated high on the electronegativity scale... Chlorines, Oxygens and whatnot.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 48% on Mass You scored higher than 79% on Electroneg You scored higher than 55% on Metal You scored higher than 34% on Radioactivity

Link: The Which Chemical Element Am I Test written by effataigus on Ok Cupid

Your library or mine? ;)

Hell yeah. You scored 55 bookishness and 68 kinkiness!

You love books, you're down with the kink...you'd almost definitely have sex in the library. Find a partner, find a good spot...and go for it.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on bookishness You scored higher than 99% on kinkiness

Link: The Sex In The Library Test written by missthang8 on Ok Cupid

Tossers!

Cardinal Murphy-O'Connor is all over the media, today as ’Identifying abortion as a "very key issue" for Catholics, the cardinal said the "policy supported by Mr Howard is one that we would ... commend, on the way to a full abandonment of abortion".’

Now then. There can be no beating about the bush on this issue. I am pro choice. I am a man, and, without making medical history, I cannot get pregnant. Sure, if I was a woman, and therefore able to get pregnant, then perhaps I would be I a position to take a different stance, but I probably wouldn’t. As it is, I am not, and therefore am not.

I have never quite got the understood how a racket like the Church of Rome can expected to be taken seriously when they actually oppose family planning. How anyone can oppose family planning is beyond me. Yes, it is one of my enthusiasms one young lady even called me “Condom Man”, and why not, think of me as the rubber caped crusader for planned parenthood (and please count me out, want a vasectomy man!) and against nasty infections.

We can laugh I suppose, but in the poor world (including Ireland) such teachings of the Church of Rome cause real human misery on a massive scale (perhaps not as much as the poverty which probably deprives more people of family planning than the Catholic Hierarchy).

But back to reproductive rights. Frankly, there is something obscene about an all male hierarchy pontificating about difficult decisions during pregnancy. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU TOSSERS!

At least with the Mormops, although they have an all male hierarchy as well, at least it is one involved in the “family life” they preach, (but steer clear of reproductive rights lads). It was interesting hear a talk by a Catholic Priest about, amongst other things, the joys of an unmarried and at least nominally celibate man running classes in marriage preparation.

It is a wise man (or woman) who knows his (or her) father

Now, with a name like Eikonoklastes, you might be able to work out dialectically that I am a dyed in the wool Republican. Too right! Think I can say that without the beefeaters knocking on the door and whisking me off to the Tower of London, and a portrait of Oliver Cromwell can adorn my Republican Household there being no pic of Lilibet Windsor.

Parenthesis, Republican is a word that has diametrically opposed meanings on each side of the Atlantic Ocean. Or everywhere in the world apart from Amerika it means opposition to hereditary succession as a system of Government.

It would appear that Throne Out and Republic have called for all members of the Royal family to undergo DNA testing. Cheeky buggers! Well, if membership of the Royal Family is according to parentage, then if there are any doubts, about said parentage, then no doubt they will jump to the chance to prove that they are “entitled” to said places in the order of succession. I presume, that if it where ever to be proved that a member of said royal family was not actually descended from said royals then they would be removed from order of succession. Though I suspect if, say, someone succeeded to the throne, then it would be more or less a fiat accompli, but would make the continuation of the line a bit dubious, hmmmmm more ammo to the Republicans.

Now, I hear that that may just have happened with one branch of the greater german/european royal family (they are all ridiculously interrelated) that did indeed happen.

Credit where it is due, I suspect that there is no doubt about the heirs (Charles and Wills), though the spares could be a bit in doubt.

Alternatively though, perhaps we could just switch to matrilineal succession (starting with the present incumbent with or without favour of females), and then there would be no cheating. No need for any dna tests. Would mean that Lilibet Windsor would be ultimately succeeded by a commonor, like the rest of us, viz Peter or Zara Philips.

Might get the feminist vote, but then as King Arthur put it in Python and the Grail, you don’t vote for Kings. Or indeed Queens. Strange women lying in ponds dishing out swords is indeed no basis for a system of government, but it is what we have I suppose.

I tell you these monos are part of a cult!

I once joked with girlfriday that her catchphrase was “I tell you it’s a cult”.

I wouldn’t want to lose my mono friends but I think they know where I stand by now, viz monogamy is sort of ok between consenting couples in private if well not really. “Do what you like in bed but don’t do it in the street where it might frighten the horses!”

I was in the Old Bar at a gathering of folks from the LUU website message boards and when chatting to one chap there, he said that he believed in monogamy but was not prepared to discuss it. Absolutely fine, discussion of sex and relationships is not compulsory. But hey, isn’t it characteristic of cults that you don’t really question the cult?

Funny, but when a cult has some non orthodox sexual practice, they are condemned for it (the only examples that spring to mind being The Family and the Rajneeshis) , whereas I suspect that most cults are into monogamy (examples being Harry Krishna, The Moonies, The Mormops, The Hubbardists, Jesus Army, Opus Dei, the Jobos and we could go on an on here……..).

I tell you these monos are part of a cult! :)

Royal Tradition?

The editor of Leeds Student received a wikid text. To the effect of perhaps there is still time for Prince Charles to revive one royal tradition viz: divorced, beheaded, died………

Tripping in Saddleworth

Yesterday had a field trip to Saddleworth. It was cold even with 3 t-shirts, 2 sweatshirts and a fleece jacket.

First off, the museum, well in the keeper who opened on Saturday morning especially for us! There, I was thrilled and overjoyed to find they had a lant pot! A lant pot is a pot for taking the piss.

OK, herein a brief parenthesis about the history of taking the piss. To get lanolin out of wool soak it in an alkaline solution. Cheapest cheerfulest alkaline solution is err, well wee-wee left for a couple of days contains amongst other things ammonium hydroxide. Hence recycling of pish until relatively recently. In fact there is even a recorded case of a man selling fake pish and being fined by the beak. Somewhere in the dying trade alum was used, it was imported to England from deposits near Rome, a supply which was cut off during the reformation. So somewhere in Yorkshire it was synthesised and they needed an alkaline solution to do so. Hence, barrels of pish where shipped from the bog-houses of London up the east coast. So no doubt, captains and other matelots of said ships would meet colleagues in the alehouse and be asked what they where up to, “Oh, just taking the piss”.

Next exhibit a hand loom, from the golden age of hand loom weaving, a carding machine and the spinning mules which put hand loom weavers out of business, not before some of them had pioneered mathematics, railway timetables and the Great and Glorious Co-operative Movement.

Then off out into the freezing cold Pennines, following the Prof up Uppermill high street to the old Mechanics Institute. The retail co-op in Saddleworth dates from the heroic age of the co-op movement, and would you believe it, they built some social housing.

Next, freezing my balls off, up a lane to look at some weavers cottages, now inhabited by chavs (anyone who wears Burberry is either a chav or disguised as one) and putting all our archaeological and analytic skills to work out how these said cottages developed. Then back through Uppermill to look at some prehistoric council housing. Would you believe it, it would appear that someone once built some council housing without the minimum 10 years of building delays…..

The World’s Favourite Jazz Mag!

How better to cultivate friendship with an old friend than a trip to YUCKEA to browse, window shop maybe and buy an alarm clock for 0.6 UKP? Cheers Nikki!

And I now have a copy of the YUCKEA catalogue to hide under the mattress, or inside “Reader’s Wives” or “Razzle” or whatever lmao!

The scene in “Fight Club” where Jack is on the phone, on the throne, and with the YUCKEA catalogue in his lap, was filmed by Edward Norton with his knickers off.

“So, Ikea boy……..”

I Demand a re-count! PML!

Got home last night, and there was no message on answering service to the effect that I had won yet another holiday to Orlando Florida! Surely there’s been a mistake! I demand a re-count!

Control Freaks!

“Boiling over in my mind, anger and aggression!”

I saw the headlines in the Daily Murdoch this morning

“THE BBC licence fee should be replaced by a tax on the ownership of a personal computer instead of a television, ministers said yesterday.”

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1508650,00.html

No, I didn’t buy a copy, the capitalist press makes me puke! But thanks for placing said article on the internet boys.

Now. Taxation is the price we pay for civilisation and irradiating Iraq with “depleted” uranium. But a tax on owning a word processor? Anyway, such a taxation is totally unnecessary. If the BBC did not exist it wouldn’t need funding.

Now, proposals to tax books have rightly been viewed as utter philistinism. A tax on computers would have to be seen as the same. Or would corporations and HM government be exempt? Does this government fear the free flow of information? or just that people might write the odd letter to the editor, their MP’s or those fun loving dudes in television licensing (haven’t bothered yet). I am not looking forward to living in a New Labour New Stalinist-Capitalist state where I have to dodge paying a petty poll tax on a word-processor to fund the instruments of oppression in the form of the broadcasting corporations. Hopefully this barking mad idea will be ditched. Can’t be counted on though, barking mad ideas go a long way in politics these days. And if implemented hopefully such a poll tax would go the same way as the previous poll taxes.

Speaking of which. I have not bought a television licence in years. I have no intention of doing so. I get a letter from those jolly chaps in telly licensing about once a month. It is perfectly legal not to pay this petty poll tax just so long as you don’t have a television. And since I have spent most of my adult life trying to avoid television. I am sick and tierd of it’s hypnotic glare. I am sick and tierd of the pro capitalist consumerist propaganda. I yearn for social contact and true community (which is of course a subversive thing in itself, too subversive for some self proclaimed “global revolutionaries" in my experience, but that’s another story).

Wake up to your dreamtime!

Throw your television out of the window (open window first and make sure that it does not land on a fellow creature (woman, man, sprog, puddycat, magpie or whatever) and hurt them).

The BBC is the voice of Babylon. Television is social control. Don’t buy a television licence, they will only spend it on drugs!

It’s raining free holidays to Orlando Florida!

They keep coming you know. Got home last night and would you believe it I had won a free holiday to Orlando Florida. And the night before, you guessed it, I had won a free holiday to Orlando Florida. And when I get home tonight…..

Mormon Missionaries

Mormon missionaries are a scream! A few times I have bumped into Mormon missionaries on Woodhouse Lane here in Leeds. Thing is right. I am not sure that standing out in the cold of Woodhouse Lane is the best way to proselytise, however admirable. Fine during the summer months, maybe, but not really appropriate on winter evenings in Old England. Pity really. If only I where to have a chat about theology and brave the cold for a bit. Then perhaps my soul would be saved. If they want to find me I will be in the alehouse. Now what would Jesus do………..

The joy of blogging!

Phew! Those last two posts where really a labour of love! There are still a few typos but let them stand. The blogger’s editor kept crashing. Haven’t the slightest clue how it works in other browsers other than the borg’s explorer and other networks. Time I went to bed after an unproductive day. Thanks for your comment Lou Lou, that made it all worthwhile! And once again cheers Merrick and Reverend Smith!

For It Is Written (in Lego) (part two)

continued..........

from the brick testament



No men in dresses……




'Neither shall a man wear women's clothing.' (Deuteronomy 22:5)

No tattoos (not even “Jesus is Lord”, "Burn in hell unbelievers" “It’s fun to be a fundy” and so on…)



'And do not put tattoo marks on yourselves.' (Leviticus 19:28)

No haircuts (now come on boys, if your going to take the bible literally, please explain whey most fundies are not long haired hippies like Jesus)



'Do not cut off the hair on the sides of your head.' (Leviticus 19:27)



And give it to the wife! Or burn in hell presumably…………



The husband must give to his wife what she has a right to expect. (1 Corinthians 7:3)




This is an uncompleted project. I do look forward and hope that the Reverend gets all the way to Revelation, complete with the Great Whore of Babylon yay! But it is indeed in right ordering that he leave the New Jerusalem to last. In the mean time, Elijah’s ascension and Ezekiel’s are eagerly awaited here. More tea vicar?

For it is written (in Lego) (part one)

Cheers Merrick for the link to The Brick Testament. Innit amazing what you can do with a bible, some lego, a digital camera and the internet.



FOR IT IS WRITTEN……….

No Sheep Shagging (Countryside Alliance, please take note!)



'Do not have sex with any kind of animal. You would become unclean by doing so.' (Leviticus 18:23)

No Fags! (smoking is bad for your health, don’t do it kids!)



'Do not have sex with a man as you would with a woman. It is an abomination.' (Leviticus 18:22)



to be continued...........

The Golden Age of Telephone Marketing!

I have forgotten how many free holidays to Orlando Florida I have won. I probably don’t go a week, certainly not a fortnight, without a message left on my answering service that to the effect that I have won a free holiday to Orlando Florida, so pack my bags, and to claim phone the following number. Thing is for my health I need a good healthy climate. And nothing beats good old British Climate, hey we even exported it to other parts of the world, southern Chile, New Zealand, even Normandy. Probably one of our few good exports, but that is another matter.

Anyway, there is a certain magick to it. Of all the names they could have picked out of the BT phone book, they keep settling on mine…… Well, I hear that due to an EU directive coming in such marketing will eventually be a thing of the past. So let us enjoy this golden age while it lasts.

I wonder if Orlando Florida is full of Brits enjoying their free holidays. Perhaps the airport is awash with Brits flying in for their free holiday passing a horde of Brits flying back to Blighty to win another one, and so the cycle continues.

Send me a postcard guys! Or better still, no need to leave the beach if someone has a laptop connected to the internet, perhaps you could send me an email.

Likesay I prefer Old England. Florida seems too sunny and not rainy enough.

May the Government be dammed!

I wonder who was listening to Brian Sedgemore’s speech against detention without trial in time of peace (no, I do not believe that that twit in the Whitehouse’s war against unauthorised terrorism constitutes time of war). And hey, to their credit, it is not just the human rights and civil liberties lobbies, but the capitalist opposition parties too!

From Hansard

“As we move towards a system of justice that found favour with the South African Government at the time of apartheid and which parallels Burmese justice today, if hon. Members will pardon the oxymoron, I am reminded that our fathers fought and died for liberty—my own father literally—believing that these things should not happen here, and we would never allow them to happen here. But now we know better. The unthinkable, the unimaginable, is happening here.”

“It is a foul calumny that we do today. Not since the Act of Settlement 1701 has Parliament usurped the powers of the judiciary and allowed the Executive to lock up people without trial in times of peace. May the Government be damned for it.”

Have a read of the speech in full. May this bunch of control freaks be dammed! Wake up England! Habeas Corpus! Trial by Jury! Magna Carta!

Enjoy your retirement in this green and pleasant police state Brian, well done, you tried at least!

Re: Re: Re: Love and Chips! xx

hi

good to see you still on faceparty ;)

Thanks for your message and all the sharings therein.

> When i say he stole years from me... i mean that, if i knew about the other women i would have left him as soon as it happened, therefore, i stayed , and he kept me, in a relationship that was built on lies.

don't get me wrong. I am not trying to suggest in any way that this is not breach of promise, that your hurt is not real.

If he hadn't been caught, would you have been unhappy?

> if he told me about the kid, i would have left him.. and he knew i was a good wife, a giving and faithful wife, he wanted the best of all worlds.

I believe that's known as being human.

> I could have left him years ago, when i was still young enough to start again. Instead i have nothing, living in a crummy council flat.

you and me both. Suspect my council bridge of sighs bed-sit is crummier than yours....

> Ive been to college in the past year,

A favourite quote in "Doctor in the house" is "an education can last a lifetime - if you want it too...". Pity about the University of Leeds school of continuing education being discontinued...

> now looking for work in office admin.

good luck. ever seen the film "Secretary"? Assume the position LOL!

> We should all be given the choice, of how we lead our lives,

Yup!

> i feel that i wasnt given that choice, it was taken away by HIM and his secrets.

Perhaps you have a point.

I do recall however. One episode of "Absolutely Fabulous" where Saffy gets Edina some "Lecoix" ear-rings and Edina wants to know are they really "Lecoix", and indeed gets manic about it.

"Do you like them?" asks Saffy

"Well I like them if they are Lecoix"

> I dont want to sound bitter..

you have permission to be bitter

> im really happy being single and celibate..

Job's a good 'un then.....

> i get lots of offers of course.. for sex..

Job's a good 'un....

> but i dont want anything to do with that.

you self confessed prude LOL!

> I want a man that adores me exclusively

Get real! PML!

Seriously, how you feel is how you feel. There would be something wrong with being too realistic. I am a card carrying idealist, but why hold someting as horrible as monogamy up as an ideal?

> and thinks of me first,if i cant have that, i'd rather be alone.

Wonderful to find someone who at least has the courage to live alone.

But why the notion that you have to live in a mono relationship or live alone? It is a pity that shared housing is seen as counter cultural outside of studentdom....

> P.S .. i do miss sex though .lol

Me too. After 3 months I am gnawing at the furniture in frustration

Love and liberation

Bluebell xxx

Re: Re: Love and Chips! xx

hellooo again

many thanks for your message

> > well, confessing to an away win would have disturbed an existing relationship

likesay, surely it is wrong to disturb an existing relationship. Ergo, confessing to an away win would have been a sin.

> Instead of confessing... he kept quiet and stole years from me which didnt belong to him.

to be honest, I do find this an odd way of looking at it. How can you say that someone else’s time did not belong to him? But likesay, there is a certain logic to it, viz, a possessive relationship is possessive, so if you think that you own another persons body and soul then it follows that you own his or her time. So yes, the reasoning is clear enough, just the first principals are bizarre. I won’t say that I believe possessive relationships to be ok, but what other people do with their body and soul is likesay, not my concern.

Who owns my body? Who determines how much of it I can share?

Again. Don't get me wrong. Perhaps some mono relationships are loving relationships. Though I suspect that this is despite their being exclusive and possessive rather than because.

So likesay, I don't believe that monogamy is about love, it is about ownership possession and control.

> When i say, "at least you are honest," then the woman knows what they are getting into .

Likesay, I am still not happy with the by the "at least" bit.

Who owns my body? I love sleeping with women and love the women I sleep with. If you believe that there is something wrong with this then why not say so?

> They can choose to go for it, or not.

as if loving open non-possessive polyamourous relationships are not fabulous, and as if

> My Ex led a double life,

Most people do. We don't live in a monogamous society (thank JAH!) just one riddled and crippled by monogamous assumptions.

> complete with women.. and even a kid..I will never forgive him.

Perhaps we all have forgiveness problems...... I am not asking you to forgive, none of my business. Nor would I deny that you are hurt, I believe you are.

> I have no idea why he did it , nor does he, (so he says,) I was "giving" in every way possible.

Ahem. A woman who tried to guilt trip me into a mono relationship, when we had met in a bar and the first thing I had said to her was that I was ravingly heterosexual, ravingly polyamourous and had a paramour in London. Well, she reckoned that by trying to get me to dump my London paramour and make it illegal for me to love any other woman that that was generous on her part.....

> I can't detatch feelings from sex,

I' not sure I could. My bottom line is at least a pretension of affection. Though likesay prefer loving long term committed open polyamourous relationships. I can dream can't I? And where there is no vision the people perish (Proverbs 29:18)

> that's why i can never do casual or one night stands.

Another non-sequiter surely?

> Im a prude... so shoot me
xxxx

No worries. Again, nothing wrong with being anti sex if your open about it. Or at least there is something refreshing! :)

> He was weak, in my eyes,

he did what most people would have done.

got to go and heckle the Vice Chancellor so Hasta!

Love and liberation

Bluebell xxxx

Re: Love and Chips!

hi

> Thanks for the nice comments.

your welcome ;)

> I've read your profile..

you know, I wonder if most people do..... people are strange...

> and what can i say ? apart from "each to their own@.

fair enough

> My heart would break, ( and indeed it did ) if the man i was with slept with another woman.

now then. Wouldn't want to go down the route of misguided attempts to heal, teach, and convert. Life is too short. Monogamy is sort of ok between consenting couples in private LOL!

> I was with my EX for 20 years, i had no idea that he had been seeing many women over many years.

well, confessing to an away win would have disturbed an existing relationship.

Am personally really not sure why society seems far more threatened by openly living non monogamously than by "cheating" but such is life. Most people are not monogamous all the time and I doubt they ever will be. Viz, in a poll in New Woman 58% of married women said that they had had sex willingly with a man other than their husband. As my brother said and the other 42% lied. Rhetorical, yes there are mono women as well as mono men....

> I left him 18 months ago when i discovered this, i just took my kids and my clothes, and walked.

I won't ask why, likesay lets not go down the route of misguided attempts to heal, convert and teach.

> I suppose its different for you, because you and your partner both agree on the same thing.

not quite a partner per se, she is married after all. And yes, of course, it is an open marriage (though they are not out to the next door neighbours) her hubby has his one night stands and she has her crushes, who all bar me dump her in the end.

> I could never share anything so precious and intimate with other women.

bizarre, but how you feel is how you feel.

> Im single now, and not started the dating thing yet.. oh my word... its a minefield... so many false people.

yup! being honest doesn't get me many dates. None really.

> At least you are honest.

ahem, rather judgemental of you. Are you trying to imply that there is something wrong with being generous with body and soul?

and if you honestly believe that love is jealous, why not say so? (see 1 Corinthians 13:4)
> Good luck

likewise!

Love and liberation

Bluebell xxx

My Valentine

Feeling tierd

I shouldn’t complain.

Looks like my Valentine date is Union Council, looks like I am a sad hack LOL! I’ve never received a valentine, nobody loves me :(

Royal Example?

Well. I read it on the internet, so it must be true, that the Brit crown prince and Camilla (the lady who has, allegedly, for years been a heartbeat away from being a kings mistress) are to get hitched.

“So Bluebell, why would you give a toss you raving Republican loon?” well if we must groan under the ridiculous institutions of monarchy and hierarchy. No I am not suggesting that the saxe-coburg-gotha’s set an example, but it can be a silver lining on a cloudy day.

So yes, would have been nice if Charles and Camilla had waited until after the coronation. Then anyone “living in sin” would be able to happily note that they where only doing what the King was doing, and it would be the height of respectability, which would be a good thing.

Why do I muse? I am not the marrying kind anyway. And gone are the days, no doubt, when the upper classes just didn’t bother with monogamy, unless they wanted to. Again, this is probably the one instance where I wish the workers and peasant’s would take inspiration from our so called betters. Roll on the revolution!

Amerikans

Was listening to State Controlled Radio this morning. It seems that Republican Ascot is not being held at Ascot somewhere in the deep south this year, but in the Ancient Metropolis of the North, York. Well York racecourse to be precise. Not alas permanently but because they have the builders in at Ascot (hmmm builders delay might just mean another year, ten if it where a council job…).

Well, in an interview with a woman in the business of providing hospitality for Republican Ascot at York, she said that one Amerikan had said that he had friends in Edinburgh and was that within walking distance of the racecourse?

“Well sir, you will need good walking shoes” she quipped.

Picture the scene. Said Amerikan on first day or Republican Ascot asks his Edinburgh friends “Say buddy which way is the racecourse?”

“Oh just 200 miles down the Great South Road (aka the A1) and turn left”

Lets hope he remembers some good walking boots. Hi buddy if you are reading this, we will make you very welcome in Old England. Just don't mention the war......

Type of Moggie

You are a Sphinx! You are mocked for your unusual
appearance, but you are very loving and
devoted. People just need to give you a
chance!


What breed of cat are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

400 Years! 400 Years!

Have been selectively reading bits of “Roots” by Alex Hayley.



A few years ago, I remember seeing an exhibition in Birmingham art gallery, some very simple large paintings. The first showed an anvil and some stakes above the ground but pointing downwards. Took me a while to wonder what this symbolised. Then it clicked, chains being made on an anvil, and the stakes forming the stockade of captivity. The second frame was equally moving. It showed Africa and America and the ocean between them And a ship in the shape of a coffin sailing from Africa to America with in the distance in Europe and old classical temple. The Atlantic slave trade was controlled and devised in Europe. And of the temple, yes, slavery was known in classical times. How did a continent that I love descend into barbarism from the sixteenth to nineteenth centuries?



Perhaps, conditions of those enslaved for the Indian ocean slave trade where as bad as those for the middle passage of the Atlantic. Even so, and no I am not expecting the sins of the fathers to be visited upon the sons and indeed daughters, I see all too little repentance. Perhaps because some at least in Europe became wealthy on the slave trade and still are. And as for the continued existence of slavery…..



Cue 400 Years by his Bobness, Bob Marley.

Desirable Residence?

When you tidy up you discover a lot of mess. When you have not tidied up for a while…. you might discover one hell of a mess! Spend all night trying to clear my cottage for a 0800 hhrs appointment with the council contractors. Well, by 0800 the windows where cleared and there was space for them to work. The cottage now has double glazed windows. But living in a bridge of sighs bed-sit is driving me nuts! Onwards and upwards to re-housing I hope.

Anyway, what should I discover in old paperwork but an accommodation advert I had spotted up in the University last summer and noted down. Here it is, with original punctuation:-

*******************************************************************

WANTED

********* ALIVE

Two Laid-Back Tokin Housemates Needed To Move In With Well-Adjusted and Studious Third Years next year

Beautiful house equipped with a private cinema, Olympic-size swimming pool, Gymnasium, herb garden, Turkish Bath, Sauna and live-in Swedish masseur with loose morals, surrounded by fourteen acres of barley fields, a helicopter pad, marble en suite bathrooms and a carrot patch, all for just £53 a week! Interested?

Call (two mobile phone numbers given)

*****************************************************************************

Well, being in social housing, I was not tempted. The thought of compulsory “Tokin” did not appeal, smoking is bad for your health! Don’t do it Kids! And problem with the live-in Swedish masseur of loose morals is that his husband is a tall stocky jealous bastard. :)

Bashing the Bishop (non-violently)

Not sure where I acquired a copy of “Christians and Sex – A Quaker Comment” by Harold Loukes (Friends Home Service Committee 1962).

Anyway, on page 16 under masturbation he says

“The day is now mercifully gone when adults could threaten the young with the terrible consequences of masturbation: future impotence, venereal disease, madness. We know now that masturbation has no consequences except tiredness and a sense of guilt.”

Yay Friend Harold! He continues

“At the same time, it seems an unsatisfactory affair,….”

Well, not being able to get laid is always an unsatisfactory affair

“…. even to it’s victims.”

Friend Harold no doubt speaking from experience which I am unable to do having never “Bashed the bishop” (non-violently) myself.

So Harold continues after a couple of paragraphs which can be skipped:-

“We should today regard masturbation as a symptom of a disturbed and disorganised personality”.

You know, I am not so sure we should. Not even in 1962.

Well, three further things are interesting in this pamphlet.

The first is the date. The following year was published the pamphlet which some older Friends reckon should never have been published, viz “Towards a Quaker View of Sex” a bit of a mixed bag as I personally think it was reactionary in places, but did move Britain Yearly Meeting forward.

Secondly, the title, “Christians and Sex”. I suppose I do have a complex against “Christianity” or more specifically “orthodox (small o and so called) Christianity”. Isn’t Christians and Sex a contradiction in terms? “No Sex please, we are Christians”

Thirdly. No mention, to the best of my knowledge (no I am not going to slog my way through said pamphlet, if anyone would like this work you can have it! get in touch before it ends up on a bonfire) of what was becoming a burning issue viz homosexuality. “Towards a Quaker view of Sex” was written to address the issue of homosexuality, but, to the annoyance of some Friends did dig deeper and look at other issues.

And funnily enough Quakers are now seen, rightly I believe, as at least better at discussing sex than other churches.

Hey, maybe the occasional “hand shandy” could be seen as not only healthy and natural but also religious piety…..

=====================================================

Footnote

Any serious student of the English language should have a copy of “Roger’s Profanisaurus”, the premier dictionary of the vulgar tongue, commissioned by the editors of Viz. But since it could be a bit tricky to get hold of for any lovely readers who’s mother tongue is not English I include the following definitions to make everything clear.

Bash the Bishop v. To pull the Pope’s cap off, to box the Jesuit. To bank with Barclays.

Hand shandy n. A frothy one, pulled off the wrist

For whom the bell tolls

Ok. I know it is a cliché. But it will have to do.

I collected a letter today from the Kabal pigeon hole but addressed to me personally (in my capacity as a member of the University Senate).. It was from the University Secretary. Sally Macgill, Professor of Integrated Environmental Management is missing presumed dead in Thailand.

So far as I know all my immediate family are safe and sound. Am in the process of checking up. Not sure if any of my family have ever even been to the Indian ocean shores.

Anyway, never met Professor Macgill. But the University of Leeds is sort of home. And although I would not wish to diminish the lives lost and ruined of those I never knew and never had any connection with apart from “mere” common humanity. And although the University of Leeds is a large firm. I feel the loss all the more personally. A University should be a multi cultural multi national community, and PROUD to be so.

“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee”

John Donne

sharing (was RE:waiting for the workmen)

hi Kay

> the main thing i'm fed up about is being on my own

interesting. what part of being on your own are you fed up with?

For me. I am living alone for the first time in my life, have been for 2 and a half years. Still not got used to it. But feel that I must. Would love to have housemates, but my previous housemates drove me nuts. Slightly unfair of me to say, what I mean is. House sharing requires structure. And most of my former housemates did so for what where for me, the wrong reasons, viz, sharing the bills. For me the whole point of house sharing is to share something of each others lives and to have fun (without living in each others pocket and accepting that life together is not all beer and skittles).

And yes, I do need more people to share my life with. And more sex ;)

An old acquaintance who lost contact with me said that Schopenhauer had said that the human condition is like being like freezing porcupines, as we huddle together for warmth we are impaled on our quills. Schopenhauer was a miserable bastard. Whether or not he said that, I know not. Where people any less cold in the past I wonder....

I could rant a bit about in and through true community lies the salvation of the world. But best not.

How about I put this on my blog?

love and liberation

Bluebell xx