Thursday, February 21, 2008

Textual Harassment! (part five I think but who’s counting?)

Ah drug slang and indeed other slang, so much a variable in time and place. I used to think a Bag’ed was a glue sniffer, but perhaps in some contexts at some times it means a Junkie. My brother sent me the following

“New charity on news’ Bagheds to Bagdad’ its to give them a fresh start! blessem"

Aye! Bless Them!

Sent following txt to my brother

“it was a thrill for me to meet Kennedy in that way- while i was doing my job. At that moment, I never could have imagined that fifteen years later i would be publishing nude photos of his wife.” Larry Flynt pious founder of “Hustler” amerikan jazz mag I believe.. He was in the navy on the USS Enterprise"

"Did he know Captain Kirk?" Kevin asked? Perhaps the Captain of the Enterprise at the time was Captain Kirk? Was there a Lootenant Uhura? Did he get a discrete inter-racial kiss? Or even a little more? Make Love not War! I say!

There’s klingons on the starboard side! starboard side! Starboard side! There’s klingons on the starboard side…..

My brother again sent me this one

“A recent survey found that women find different male faces attractive depending on her cycle. For example when a woman is ovulating she prefers a man with a rugged masculine face and when she is menstruating she prefers a man doused in fucking petrol, set on fire with scissors sticking out of his fucking eyes and a cricket stump jammed up his bastard arse!”

I replied

“ROFL! :-D rite on pseudo hippy bint i know said recent research shows when wimmin ovulating they r drawn 2 macho psychotic type rest of time they prefer jerks b”

Forget who sent me this one. Just as well as it might upset the feminists. I only reprint it as a sad reflection on the state of mind and indeed what passes for humour…

‘Husband and wife shopping in Tescos. Husband puts 10 cans of Stella in the trolley the wife takes them out saying “They cost £10, they’re too expensive!” Further down the aisle she puts a £20 jar or face cream in the trolley. He says “Hold on a minute that’s expensive” She says “But it makes me look so beautiful” He say…. “So does 10cans of Stella, but at half the FUCKING PRICE!”

This one too a bit lacking in political correctness…

“Everytime I see you … I smile!when u walk … I laugh! When u speak…I get excited! For some reason retards amuse the fuck out of me!”

Must confess watching “Police, Camera Crew Action!” gives me some sort of amusement…

“Police, Camera, Retards!”

A policeman’s life is not a happy one…

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