Adult Education Through The Ages (part one I think…)

Here’s teach, obviously….



The Yorkshire Textile Industries through the ages were mainly woollens (made of wool, obviously) and worsteds (also made of wool, though at Saltaire of course they did alpaca worsteds)….

Bring on the wool….



My desk



Ditto….



Wonder if I learned anything… well here goes…..

To make woollens from wool. You have to

1. wash it
2. card it
3. spin it
4. weave it
5. finish the woven woolens

Finishing might include

- fulling
- dying
- tentering
- raising
- cropping

With additional and omitted steps with worsteds. Looks like a lot of hard work. How anyone managed to make it through all those stages to produce the first ever textiles is beyond me..... Perhaps that’s why Gengiz Khan conquered half the world with little or no textile industry, the mongol yurt being made of felt instead.

Anyway, to spin the spindle was invented millennia ago and was still in use until the Industrial Revolution. A student gives it a go....



Along comes the Great Wheel.



But the hand spindle is still in use, can be used anywhere and until invention of the spinning jenny, yarn is generally in short supply, especially in areas with a textile industry.

Lights!

The Joy of YouTube! (part two of one of them occasional series…)

Showing my age a bit. “Galloping On!” the transcendent sound of Black Beauty…..




And indeed the the Holohan sisters (never heard of them but great singers) singing “Down by The Glenside” Transcendent!



Or how about a whole coven of white witches! Pagan Rock Band Inkubus Sukkubus singing Heartbeat of the Earth. Apparently on Brit Brekfast television. Looks like they managed to Evoke Angela Rippon anyway…… wonder why they are all dressed in black though.



I could be here all night….

Textual Harassment! (part five I think but who’s counting?)

Ah drug slang and indeed other slang, so much a variable in time and place. I used to think a Bag’ed was a glue sniffer, but perhaps in some contexts at some times it means a Junkie. My brother sent me the following

“New charity on news’ Bagheds to Bagdad’ its to give them a fresh start! blessem"

Aye! Bless Them!

Sent following txt to my brother

“it was a thrill for me to meet Kennedy in that way- while i was doing my job. At that moment, I never could have imagined that fifteen years later i would be publishing nude photos of his wife.” Larry Flynt pious founder of “Hustler” amerikan jazz mag I believe.. He was in the navy on the USS Enterprise"

"Did he know Captain Kirk?" Kevin asked? Perhaps the Captain of the Enterprise at the time was Captain Kirk? Was there a Lootenant Uhura? Did he get a discrete inter-racial kiss? Or even a little more? Make Love not War! I say!

There’s klingons on the starboard side! starboard side! Starboard side! There’s klingons on the starboard side…..



My brother again sent me this one

“A recent survey found that women find different male faces attractive depending on her cycle. For example when a woman is ovulating she prefers a man with a rugged masculine face and when she is menstruating she prefers a man doused in fucking petrol, set on fire with scissors sticking out of his fucking eyes and a cricket stump jammed up his bastard arse!”

I replied

“ROFL! :-D rite on pseudo hippy bint i know said recent research shows when wimmin ovulating they r drawn 2 macho psychotic type rest of time they prefer jerks b”

Forget who sent me this one. Just as well as it might upset the feminists. I only reprint it as a sad reflection on the state of mind and indeed what passes for humour…

‘Husband and wife shopping in Tescos. Husband puts 10 cans of Stella in the trolley the wife takes them out saying “They cost £10, they’re too expensive!” Further down the aisle she puts a £20 jar or face cream in the trolley. He says “Hold on a minute that’s expensive” She says “But it makes me look so beautiful” He say…. “So does 10cans of Stella, but at half the FUCKING PRICE!”’

This one too a bit lacking in political correctness…

“Everytime I see you … I smile!when u walk … I laugh! When u speak…I get excited! For some reason retards amuse the fuck out of me!”

Must confess watching “Police, Camera Crew Action!” gives me some sort of amusement…

“Police, Camera, Retards!”

A policeman’s life is not a happy one…

Local History Quiz (part one of an occasional series…)

One for all you Armleyites. Prior to becoming a carpet warehouse, Mike’s Carpets was:-

a) a cinema
b) a Primitive Methodist Chapel
or c) a lapdancing club

UFO on the Kirkstall Road?

As I wandered down the Kirkstall Road, I couldn’t help noticing this multicoloured Unidentified Flying Object looking a bit like some stray helium filled balloons. And no doubt the conspiracy theorists will have you believe that is indeed what it was. Have tried to upload to Youtube so here goes…..

Silly Questions?

Time flies. At some point in the past when I first arrived in Leeds and was crossing the University Campus I stumbled on this heraldic achievement. Nice motto?



Turns out anyway that it is the Arms of the Worshipful Company of Clothworkers of the City of London. Seems the Clothworkers paid for the Textiles Building so it’s in right ordering that their Arms are on display. Seems the Clothworkers have strong connections with this University.

Likesay dialled up their website a few years ago and discovered that you don’t have to be a clothworker to be a Clothworker, or have any connection with the City of London, you just have to be the son or daughter of a Clothworker. In fact that would appear to be the only way in. Well the Livery Companies of the City of London are peculiar peculiarities I suppose. Was listening to State Controlled Radio a while back and they interviewed this vicar who was vicar of one of the myriad churches within the “square mile” not many parishioners but since there are the Livery Companies…. Anyway seemed for one annual service he had to have a tricorne hat , not wear it but have it in his hand. Managed to get one in a theatrical suppliers or fancy dress place for a fraction of what he would have paid in Weed and Ravenscroft (official robe makers to the University of Leeds).

Anyway, top of peculiarities no doubt treasured by the Clothworkers is the following. It appears that if you are lucky to get invited to dinner at Clothworkers hall, the waiter will ask do you dine with the Alderman or with Lady Cooper, which is a now traditional way of asking would you like brandy or gin. Seems back in the midst of time Alderman Cooper was at a Clothworkers Shindig and dropped dead when he got home. Lady Cooper blamed the brandy, and bequeathed funding for gin as a safe alternative. Anyway, silly question really. In my happy go lucky alcohol dependant days wouldn’t have minded both really, preferably trebles. Now I am retired of course….

Time the Worshipful Company of Yogurt Weavers of the City of London was incorporated I would certainly be eligible for election.

Charming Armley (part one of an occasional series?)

Was taking a stroll and due to roadworks on the viaduct road, only way out of Armley was over the footbridge over the River Aire. Ah the Magick of Armley to see cans of Special Brew growing on trees!



long shot....

The David Beckham Flag

The David Beckham Flag proudly flying over the Town Hall here in Leeds.

The Amerikan way?

According to Emma Hartley (“Did David Hasselhoff End The Cold War? – 50 Facts you need to know: Europe” Icon Books Cambridge 2007), those happy go lucky chaps at the OECD claim that Europeans work 350 hours a year less than Amerikans. I’m emigrating! Better learn the lingo though I suppose..

Church

A younger brother once asked in a book he had written:-

"Why should I join a Church?"

and he continues

"In seeking for the right answer, we need to ask first of all whether it is more blessed to give or to receive. It is a form of selfishness that tempts on to try to receive from all the Churches, giving them nothing but a few pence in the collecting basket. A member can give a Church far more than a casual visitor, not only money but other things more valuable, prayer, influence, work, and sympathy. "

"Again, there will come a time in our lives when we shall need Christian help and shepherding. It may be in bereavement or sickness, in poverty, or alas, in backsliding."

(from The Principals of Open Brethern, by a younger brother. (Pickering and Inglis Glasgow, Alfred Holness London and Gospel Publishing House New York) )

Perhaps we most need a community when we are backsliding. Not sure what loading backsliding has, is a backslider repentant when backsliding? Whatever. Perhaps we not only need the community when we are unrepentant sinners but also still have a right to belong.

Maybe sex wasn’t meant for men.

Recently watched 101 Reykjavik, good film. Some quoatable 1 liners include

"Mother had taken a day off. Is that in the wage contract? Out of the closet earns you one day off?"

"I’d be a lesbian if I only could!"

But best of all….

"Maybe sex wasn’t meant for men."

To brighten an otherwise dull day. Well worse than that as it turns out.

Secret Weapons?

“How small accidents affect men’s minds and decide events. The 1st Dragoons and 10th Foot came from Ireland with the 79th, but the last being in kilts terrified the Chartists more than a brigade of other trops” From the Life and Opinions of General Sir Charles Napier GCB (journal May 1839)

Well men in skirts is no laughing matter….

Testing again!

Despite assiduous, nay obsessive, care of my possesions, alas my old camera case was lost possibly stolen. In it was my old 6 meg digital camera which had served me pretty well. Ok maybe i do have a digital camera fetish... the future is digital. Cheers PC world for bearing with me while i drove a hard bargain and quizzed them on the iso number which is alas only 400.

Pictured below is the Merrion Center today, named after Avid Merrion of course. Apologies whoever you are who is pictured, happy to remove said picture or credit you.

The Tetley Challenge

It would appear that Joshua Tetley, the man who invented beer, successfully challenged Houdini to free himself from a padlocked metal cask full of beer, Tetley’s I presume. Houdini the man who had got out of the Tsarist Secret Fuzz “cassette” failed to find his way out of the barrel. Cheers!

More on the Git Box (Make me a Muslim Lesbian)

Must confess saw all 3 episodes of “Make Me A Muslim”.

Must confess also that the title reminded me of a graphitti wall of yesteryear which ran “MY MOTHER MADE ME A LESBIAN” underneath some wag had written “IF I SENT HER THE WOOL WOULD SHE MAKE ME ONE”.

So format of show was they had an Iman (Muslim vicar) on a mission. Goes to Harrogate, here in the West Riding of Yorkshire, a town with few Muslims. Recruits happy go lucky band of non Muslims prepared to give Islam a go if only for 3 weeks.

Now, if there are any identity questions within Islam (and I for one suspect there are some within all of the “great faith traditions”) none came out in this programme, alas. Is someone a “bad Muslim” if they drink alcohol moderately? Or have soft porn? Or hard porn? Or sleep with their fiancé? Or cuddle their boyfriend/girlfriend after a row during Ramadan?

Anyway, Brit Bloke taxi driver Phil seemed to do a lot of the first episode nipping of for a pint, a bacon butty and even a trip to Harrogate’s only strip club. So it was decided that Harrogate is a town with too much temptations… who’d have thought it! I’m on my way! LOL

Also having decided that Luke’s homosexuality was un-Islamic, it seems they felt this was as a result of too much female company (?!?!) so they arranged for him to have more male company (?) and more cricket. Well as I think I recall Luke saying: got his testosterone going hehe.

And there was at least one advert for a product containing dead pigs in the ad breaks. Lead us not into temptation….

Anyway with the rise of Unreality Television, Elimination Shows and so on, television is more than ever it would seem about conflict. So if this band of willing Harrogate Muslims and their mentors had been relatively conflict free, I am sure creative tension would have been introduced anyway. For a start it can usually be done in the selection of the “contestants” (in this case the volunteers and their mentors).

Back to issues of Identity. I must confess to being a non Muslim. I wonder however if the definition of Islam used here has been a particular definition of what constitutes “Orthodox” Islam. Perhaps there are people out there who would define themselves as Muslims but who don’t wear the Hijab? Perhaps they would agree that Islam demands modesty but how much?

Youtube, conspiracy theories and the dark nite of the soul

Seems there is a chap on Youtube who thinks that the Jesuits, Zionists and Masons are all working for the Illuminati in a great conspiracy. Unlikely bedfellows I would have thought, but that just shows how clever a conspiracy it is I suppose. And who am I to argue…





And maybe the Illuminati are just working for the aliens anyway. Who knows? No doubt someone knows but is not telling.

Monogamy through the ages… (part one of an occasional series? Sorry I keep losing count)

Was watching the Git Box (aka Brit TV) late one night. There was a prog about Porn. It seems that there is this top Porn Star who only does girl on girl action because she is married (think they said to a chap but my memory is not perfect) and “she is monogamous”. Perhaps Hubby approves…

Seems also that 90% of girl on girl action is bought and watched by men. Beyond me who wants to feel like a surplus male…. Seems also a lot of “straight” male porn stars do gay porn if the money is right. Funny old world.

Don't You See That I! Am Really Worth A Try!

Did the OkCupid test many years ago. No surprise that I am "The Boy Next Door" though said test is flawed in having as it's 4th dimension love v sex (can't I have both? though i suppose in my current condition either would be welcome...).

"On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men."

yup! Chicks Did Jerks!

"You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls."

I'm doomed! :-(

"A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold."

Am I really so replusive!!! No chance of any fun sex it would seem.....

Might not get everything into this post but it can be improved and posted again i suppose, hehe.

I suppose if i am fortunate(!?!?) to be on this planet another 40 years I will probably still be mystified by the mysteries of sexual attraction. Likesay as a gay male married friend put it in a letter may years ago, "it is remarkable how many 'right on' het women (is there such a person?) end up marrying the most apalling sexist troglodytes".

Anyway, current msn tagline from D C Lee's classic "See The Day"

"Don't you think that I? Am really worth a try?"

Yes I am bitter! Deal with it!

The Boy Next Door Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLD) Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet. We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what. On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold. More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not. Your exact male opposite: The 5-Night Stand Deliberate Brutal Sex Master Always avoid: The Nymph (DBSD) Consider: The Maid of Honor (DGLM), The Peach (RGLM)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating. My profile name: : borgiaginz

Idiocy is like hypnosis or ejaculation: if you want it, you can’t have it–and if you don’t want it, you can

Since Seeing "The Idiots" have had the following as my msn tag:-

"Idiocy is like hypnosis or ejaculation: if you want it, you can’t have it–and if you don’t want it, you can"

which is a quote from an interveiw the director gave.

The Jeremy Kyle Show Through The Ages (part one of an occasional series, as it were)

Must confess found this one looking through “The Northern Star” and had a giggle, likesay thought: "this is a classic Jeremy Kyle moment". On re reading it I see there is a real human tragedy there. But then that I suppose is why I have been drawn to The Show if I can get up in time of a morning. My sick interest in Working Class tragedy. Here goes….


EFFECTS OF GIN

At Marlborough-street office, London, an old woman, named Elizabeth White, was charged with being drunk, and having created a disturbance in the streets. A young man of very respectable appearance came forward to give evidence against the woman. He said the woman at the bar was the mother of himself, and three other sons, all of whom were establishing themselves in business, and each was likely to have his property severely injured by the disgraceful propensity of their parent for gin. They jointly contributed a weekly sum towards her maintenance, and they had even made arrangements with the parish officers for the further support of their mother. Such, however, was her unconquerable propensity for liquor that she would spend every farthing she could obtain at the gin-shop, and though clothed respectably one day, she would appear the next in rags, from having parted with her decent garments to raise money for more gin. When in a state of intoxication, she would make her appearance at one of her sons shops, and, by her disgraceful situation, and her conduct, she would cause a riot, and thus create much injury to his business. All her sons had times out of number been subjected to this annoyance, and it now had become necessary to ask the magistrate to inflict some sort of punishment on their mother. It was useless sending her to the workhouse, as she had discharged herself twenty times from that refuge; some more severe mode of restraint must now be adopted towards her. Mr Chambers said that it was shocking to see a woman advanced in years, and the mother of a grown up family, so disgrace herself. He knew of no course to pursue, unless the sons sent her to some village where no gin was sold, if such a place could be found in England. The old woman she said would not go near her sons again, if she were released. The magistrate was informed that she had made the same promise repeatedly, and no later than the previously day had been discharged from custody on a similar plea. She was sent to prison in default of bail.

From ”The Northern Star” 29/September/1838

Pardshaw! The Movie!

Where do I start!

Well that’s another post….

So anyway with only 1 confirmed guest, me, set off for my 40 Birthday Bash. Think I had better let pics speak for themselves with minor over dicta? Whatever.

Bought a supersaver return ticket at Leeds Train station. Not a bad journey as far as Penrith over oceans of green…. Had a through ticket to Cockermouth.The railway runs out at Penrith however, no doubt due to Dr Bleaching… So waited for bus at Penrith Station. Looks like they got a castle at Penrith. Pictures of rainbows and sunsets never seem to come out as good in pics especially my digital cameras..





So along to Cockermouth.



Actually got to Cocker quite late. It was already dark and so had great fun walking in the dark down a 2 lane A road for miles to Pardshaw. Well busses are a rarity in that part of Cumberland. Oh with no pavement and a few suicidal dangerous corners. A small mercy was that I had a head torch which I shone onto the road in the hope of some visibility. And I had too much to carry.

But likesay Made it! The old Coopers Dip Enamel was still there.



And I managed to get the fire going



Now things are getting a bit stream of consciousness….

Walked into Cockermouth following morning to do some shopping.

Here is Chairman Herdwick the great pioneer of Marxist Ovinism. Good to see a bit of Stalinist Realism.



Had to stop for refreshment in Cocker, found an alehouse dedicated to some Lakeland poet and one to a Lakeland mutineer by the name of Fletcher Christian.



Mutiny not poetry say I!.

Have a pic somewhere which I took waiting for final bus out of Cockermouth. Shows statue of Mayo (the pious inventor of Mayonnaise) in the high street.

Now it gets a bit more stream of consciousness…. A random shot of the burial ground.



Welcome to Pardshaw.



Now Cumberland is a bit bumpy here is the path from the Meeting House up to the front entrance and the School Room



Now Pardshaw makes a lovely hermitage but it is a bit big. It was my birthday and I was all alone… Thankfully the Lovely Linda graced Pardshaw with her wonderful presence. She even brought a cake! Pity it was not vegan but I was more than honoured to cut it



Not everyone makes it to 40. Noticed headstone of one deceased Friend in the burial ground who had died a few months before her 40th birthday.

Here is the Birthday Boy cutting the cake



Don’t Mess with the Chef! LOL



Here’s the Dalton Memorial





Getting random and stream of consciousness now….



A pic of the Meeting House



A better pic more oblique



A lovely view of the Cumberland countryside



Another pic of the Meeting House in a better light



A view from the Throne Room



All thanks to the work camp of 1786. Bit before my time…



Here’s one of those red skies that looked better in real life



Here is the front door to the Pardshaw Complex



Just arrived



Or just leaving?



Welcome to Pardshaw, hope you find the presence of GOD. I did.



Let’s go to the school room



I went for a short walk into the village



The Drying Room



Just to show I was there! Bluebell and Pardshaw. Can you guess which is which?



In the School Room! John Dalton the man who invented physics and chemistry was educated here!



Wish you had been there. Here’s to the last 40 years! And JAH willing the next!

A Fairy Tale...

More textual harassment though this time I will protect my sauces


“World’s shortest fairytale.. Once upon a time a man asked a woman ‘Will you marry me?’ The woman replied ‘No’ and the man lived happily ever after and went golfing, drinking, shagging and still had money in his pocket at the end of the week. The End”

The Charter!

I hold in my hand a charter, The People’s Charter!

Back from Pardshaw

If I ever have the energy will do a proper post on my latest misadventure at Pardshaw for my 40th Birthday celebrations or whatever.

So glad that this enamel had survived into the era of digital photography, it was there when I first went to Pardshaw for the Easter gathering 1996



I managed to get the fire going